When Jesus spoke of love, whether for your neighbor, spouse, or enemy, He pictured a holistic love, one that doesn’t ask for anything in return. He taught, with his words and actions, that there is no greater love than to lay down one’s life. He did this physically, to the point of death. And yet, we have such difficulty with simply setting aside our wants, intentions, insecurities, and agendas. Even marriage is supposed to be an imitation of the way Christ fully loves the church, his “bride.” So why does our version of love seem so finicky and particular, keeping record of rights and wrongs? As theologian and philosopher Rufus Jones said, “Men wrongly divide love into two types, “human love” and “divine love”, but in reality there is only love.”
Consider 1 Corinthians 13 (MSG): “Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always "me first”, Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.”
True fulfillment, outside of our own fickle “needs”, beyond the shortcomings of society’s depiction of “love”, is only found within the grace and compassion of Christ. We won’t always “click” with everyone or be able to easily organize them under a checklist with headings and bullet points. We won’t always feel fully valued or appreciated by them either… life is far too messy and organic for that. But in these times, remember that “love is patient, love is kind.” Look to a God who loves unconditionally, and assess how you can do the same with those around you.
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