The Leap

"You can't design your life like a building. It doesn't work that way. You just have to live it and it will design itself. Listen to what the world is telling you to do and take the leap."

Sometimes, we have to take a leap of faith. Put ourselves out there. Trust each other. Trust God. And it's about time that I did.

Cynicism is bad

Totally convicted...

The dictionary defines cynical as “contemptuously distrustful of human nature and motives.” Singer Matthew Perryman Jones gets more creative in his definition: “Cynicism is nothing more than soul-rot. It’s nothing more than a coward dressed up in a tweed blazer smoking a Peterson pipe. It is dismissive and disengaged while looking invested and astute.”

This is from an article online at Relevantmagazine.com. Cynicism is created by combining the media and advertising with this unholy standard that we hold to the church. What does it really mean though? How do we change?

“Christians ought to know better,” explains Keyes. “We know about the fall, we know about sin, we know about brokenness and should be able to be honest. But when that doesn’t happen, Christianity can be another part of sentimentality, which is dangerous when the world breaks through the sentimental veneer. The truth that God loves you shouldn’t get lumped together with our plans always working out. A lot of people are cynical about the church. It’s a short step to then be cynical about God.”

The article concludes with this:

“Dr. [Francis] Schaeffer used to say ‘Each of us is a glorious ruin,’” said Keyes. “The cynic doesn’t see any glory at all. The sentimentalist sees all glory and no ruin. As Christians we got to be able to see both, to realize that reality is both.”

The world is beautiful. Christians are called to see the “glorious ruin” of humanity. God bought back the world from ruin at the greatest cost. As a result, Christians can see the world as something worth loving, worth fighting for, to see it as Jesus sees it; a world worth dying for.

When things are said like this, I wonder why exactly am I cynical and how do I get to place of true hope? I think it's time that I stopped anticipating the worse and start to really, truly hope for the best. And believe that it will come.

Believing in the goodness of God is more than just believing and knowing that God is good and he loves us and he wants what's best for us. It's living our lives in faith and hope in the promises and the joys of God. It's more than believing. It's more than knowing. It's seeing when you can and can't see and it's trusting when you can't and can't see and having faith and taking risks and leaping.

Leaping head first. Not feet first.

September 2009 to September 2010 Goal List

These are a few of the goals I have for the next year--hold me to them. Holleeeer!

1. Run a half marathon, complete a bike race or participate in a triathlon.
2. Jump off a waterfall.
3. Write a short story.
4. This one's a secret.
5. Kayak in San Francisco
6. Go to Dodgers spring training in Arizona
7. Learn how to snowboard
8. Volunteer at an inner city arts program
9. Go to the batting cages
10. Be a seat filler for an awards show
11. Be an extra in a TV show or movie.
12. Create something out of junk (which involves going to a junk yard)
13. Go to a shooting range.

BTW THE DODGERS MADE THE PLAYOFFS!!!

Blood Diamond

Since I'm stuck inside all day, I finally got around to watching Blood Diamond. It was overall very good, minus some unbelievable scenes in the end when the father surrenders everything to stupidly try to get his son back.

But there were a few things I took away from this movie. First of all, I'm shamefully aware of the life of privilege I live. I'm actually aware of this a lot, but I try to forget. I have a family and friends. I have a pretty decent life. And somewhere in the world is someone whose life is completely opposite of mine. I have luxury and I have privilege...makes it really hard to complain ever again to say the least. I was continually convicted over my lack of gratitude. We always want more. We're always seeking and asking for more...but why? Why do I want more when so much of the world has nothing?

I find myself continually drawn to really, actually seeing how I can help. Where do my talents and my skills fall into helping people who actually need help?

We live in this twisted celebrity-following, twilight-crazy, cell phone using, twitter following community where relationships and human one-on-one interaction are very very very taken for granted. And it broke my heart, somewhere, out there, right now as you read this is a hurting soul. A hurting child. A hurting parent. How can we look at ourselves and say our lives suck when there is so much poverty and so much pain out in other countries?

I'm incredibly moved after watching this movie. I feel like I have this constant battle in my heart. Between doing what I was suppose to do for my entire life: get a nice paying job, make nice paying money, get a nice paying house, start a nice pretty family. That's what I was suppose to do...continue a family line of hardworking professionals that worked their way through poverty and prejudice to get where they are today. How does one do that when all they want to do is make a difference in the world?

I want to travel. I want to see things. I want to be moved. I want my heart to break over what breaks God's heart. I want to cry when I see poverty, not look away with shame. I want to be able to give money to the poor, the shoes on my feet, the shirt off my back. How can one have a heart for the world but live in the world's richest state? Where do we draw the line? Where does reality start and ideals stop?

Can you be born into a life of privilege but still make a big difference? Can I sleep in my full bed and want to help someone who sleeps on the floor? Can I wear a different clean set of clothes every day and still help someone who doesn't have enough money for new clothes? Is it fair for me to even help them when I've been given everything and they've been given nothing?

There are too many dangers, too many hardships, too many hurts, too many conflicts to be passive and indifferent, to not care about what's going on in the world.

learning to rest

I'm officially learning how to rest. I went to see the doctor about a growing cyst that I have and she decided it needed to be removed right away because it's growing.

Here's the post op picture of me with the bandages. pretty hilarious. I can't decide if this is a big thing and I'm making it a small thing or what...can't be active for two days. No aspirin or alcohol, but tylenol and I am starting to feel something that resembles a headache/can smell the local anseptic now.

I'm also going to have a nice scar for a couple of years...

Don't let your mom stick up for you

Milton Bradley, a former Dodger, was indefinitely suspended by the Chicago Cubs for "conduct detrimental to the team." In an interview with the Daily Heard of Illinois, saying there wasn't a positive environment in the Cubs organization and "you understand why they haven't won in 100 years here."

His MOM then spoke to the media and said that he wants to just play baseball and he has been slumping this year because his 3-year-old son is facing racism at school.

Don't let your momma do the talking when you've messed up Milton! You only look worse than you already do.

Be Part of Someone Else's Big Moment

When you're part of someone else's happy moment, it automatically makes you happy. It's a beautiful thing--the way that joy and happiness can be contagious.

The big moment for Daniel and Karla!

My friend Jonathan and I with the newly engaged!

Don't sweat the small stuff

So this was on Kristina's desk today (the office manager I'm temping for) so I picked it up and started reading and now I'm hooked.

Some of the finer lessons I've picked up so far:

- Imagine that everyone is englightened except you
- Become more patient
- Create "patient practice periods"

Just remember
1.) Don't sweat the small stuff 2.) It's all small stuff

Stay tuned for more...

Be careful

Case and point why some people should not join Twitter (and I'm sure Crissa would agree).

To summarize, Washington Redskin rookie Robert Henson tweeted Sunday evening, calling fans "dim wits" and asked how people who "work 9 to 5 at Mcdonalds" could know what's best for the team.

Monday he apologized to the media and today he quit Twitter. And the best part of all of this is that Henson has yet to play in a professional football game.

Oh, the egos that go into professional sports!!!

Be funny

Whether or not you're an Obama lover or hater there's a few things you gotta love about him as a person. 1. He went on freakin David Letterman 2. He doesn't like Kanye West 3. He's the first not-white president.

Oh yeah. BTW. Quote of the Day by Obama himself: "I think it's important to realize that I was actually black before the election."

So he likes socialism, at least he has a sense of humor.

Life is better with chocolate ice cream

Eating ice cream when you feel sad really isn't just a cliche because it actually does make you feel better.

Define Yourself

This is the first post of a new era. I've had a recent problem with my life cause I didn't feel like it was an adventure and part of it I keep waiting for the adventure to find me when really I need to find the adventure. I need to do things to seize the day! I need to do things to change it up. I can't just wait for my moment...sometimes you have to create the moment for yourself.

Right now, this is what I have to do. I have to take my life and transform it to something that satisfies where I'm at right now. Life isn't about waiting for great things to come to you. Life isn't about waiting for happiness to come. Life is about living. It's more than dreaming, it's making dreams a reality.

I keep thinking that life will come to me when I'm at the right place and I'm doing the right things. But right now life isn't going to come to me. It's not going to just fall into my lap. I have to chase after it.

You have to define yourself. You have to define who you want to be and who you will be and how that looks in your life and what that means for your life. This is my journey to self-definition. My adventure to self-identity.